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This Isn't What I Signed Up For

from Under the Terebinth by Xerarch

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lyrics

six months in and I’m starting to fade
you told me you’d find me a beautiful day
and I followed blindly just as I was told
but never knew beauty so quickly grew old

and it’s hard to be so far away from you
and it’s hard for me to walk the way that you do

the stars are less frequently giving off light
the moon does its best to stay hidden from night
the people packed tighter, they’re closing in fast
and I suddenly feel like I’m doomed to collapse

walking streets with blinders on
I cast a glance but quickly turn
I’d rather sing a different song
to keep myself from getting hurt

I’m longing for beaches and mountains so high
I’m longing for sundays and crystal clear skies
I’m longing for family and friends and a home
I’m longing for moments of being alone

but it’s hard to be so far away from you
and it’s hard for me to walk the way that you do

I’m longing for something familiar to hold
I’m longing for silver and longing for gold
I’m longing for things that I feel I’ve lost
but longing is paying a terrible cost

here is where trumpets and voices resound
here is where foolish men run to their homes
here is where idols lay smashed on the ground
here is where flesh wraps itself around bones
here is where 300 tastes like 10,000
here is where 300 swords find their mark
here is the sound of the thundering heavens and
here the clouds open with force in the dark

now that it’s over I’m walking back home
the streetlights are brighter the burden is light
the way feels shorter, I walk not alone
I hear only traffic far off in the night
here is the future but here is the past
I need to hold on to this tight with both hands
here is the feeling I need to make last
here is where home is, I’ll stay in this land

the magnitude, the scope of this
the power here, there’s hope in this
and midian is left to rot
it’s probably good that we trusted God

credits

from Under the Terebinth, released October 18, 2013
with Cally Delorme (callydelorme.bandcamp.com)

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Xerarch Langley, British Columbia

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